Its Tuesday, not my favourite day of the week since I always feel sooooo finished, but as they say in the industry (which industry?? No clue), I’m going to fake it until I make it!
Usually I’m very much against “Fake”, whether its fake people, fake breasts or fake clothing, its just not for me. But today, I welcome the fake!
Here are a few things that its OK to fake:
- The “I’m a fully rounded person” hobby section on your CV. Nobody really has the time (or inclination) to go hiking or study pre-WWII contemporary art right??
- Your forwarding address when you FINALLY get to tell your free-loading non-cleaning/cooking nasty flatmate that you’re moving out
- A short-lived but very deep relationship with Johnny Depp before he hit the big time, about which, naturally, you can’t go into any details…naturally.
- A story where you triumphed over a rude woman in the line at the Post Office by giving her the perfect put-down, when in fact, you only thought about it when you were already in the car, rewriting your humiliation.
- A can-do approach to your job (THIS IS ME!! :-D)
- The impression that the friend you bribed into going with you to your family reunion is, in fact, your boyfriend
- How much you absolutely LOOOOVE the puke-green colour of the shiny, semi-transparent, gaudy bridesmaid’s dress your best friend has picked out for you to wear on her big day (sooo chic!)
- A knowledgeable opinion on wine, when in all actuality, you’re more than happy to hose down anything in a big-enough glass
- Having slaved over a hot stove for hours to fix this amazing dinner, when the most difficult part was sneaking outside to throw the Woolies Food packets in your neighbours bins
- Knowledge of world events. Or even events in your own country – all you really need to do is nod wisely at the right moments
- Your love of a quiet, studious lifestyle when being interviewed by your new landlord
- A giggle of laughter and a smile when his mom asks if you’ve gained weight over Christmas, when all you’re thinking about is choking her
- A doctor’s appointment or an emergency when you just want to go home early. Note: Always remember what your mystery ailment is, for when your boss corners you the next day