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The Secret To Happy Boobs

 

Uhm....oops

Uhm….oops

I have been in a love-hate relationship with my breasts since they were naught but buds.

At 12, all my friends had them, so I prayed real hard and BOOM, little buds appeared.

These buds grew and grew and GREW and GREW until overnight, I had sprouted a fully-grown woman’s chest, so at 14 I was praying for “a little bit less please!”.

By 24 I had finally grown into them, but I was still, by normal standards, top-heavy and I had spent over a decade stuffing and squeezing my tatas into all manner of pretty spandex and lace infused prisons, trying to control an obviously-uncontrollable force of nature.

I have suffered through the pains of trying to wear small strappy tops and spilling out of them from all sides. I wore a JT-One top ONCE, and learnt my lesson pretty quickly. I struggled for years, trying to find a strapless bra that could handle “all this”, and after spending my friends wedding in the ultimate strapless, ended up with red welts lining my back and sides. I eventually came to the comfortable conclusion that some things are just not meant for me. I have an ample D-cup bosom that will always require a bra at ALL times and I will always be adjusting things in here it seems. They will NEVER look like the ones in the Triumph and Jockey adverts. Jogging will always be an exercise in Baywatch-esque spectacles for the men in passing cars. Strapless dresses with pretty bustiers are not in my future and backless tops are a no-no (unless if I will be wearing a jacket ofcourse ;-)). The bigger they get, the less I (or any of the store clerks) understand about how to find a decent bra. When I take off my bra, my breasts will fall a centimetre or two (tee hee hee) and they will always migrate towards the warmth of my armpits when I lie down. They are not the stuff of porn movies, they are real and soft and natural. That is how the good Lord meant them to be ladies and you never need feel ashamed or apologise for this.

So after all my experiences, it makes me sad to know that there are girls out there living with very unrealistic expectations, with bee-sting breasts wishing they had more to fill out their tops, and young ladies with

The dream

The dream

bazoonkas, trying to strap them down to appear flatter-chested because the boys in their 9th Grade classes are making lewd comments. At younger ages, we have no idea how to be comfortable with our bodies, and so, with our breasts. Big or small, they are usually a minor pain at some point or another and unfortunately, there is not enough conversation out there to teach us how to be comfortable with ourselves.

This morning I came across a lady who claims to have found the trick in measuring yourself for your proper size and I will be trying it soon. She also posted this helpful video:

So for the trick:

1: Take measuring tape and measure yourself around your ribcage, where your bra band would normally sit and exhaleWrite down that number.

2. Bend over at a 90 degree angle, with your boobs dangling in front of you. Wrap the measuring tape loosely around your back and dangling bust (you might need help for this one), and write that number down.

3. Now take those two numbers and subtract them, (i.e. 49-38 = 11). Now take that number and using the chart below, find your cup size.

The first measurement you got, your band size, plus your cup size from the chart is what you should be looking for in the chart.

chart

 

Please let me know if any of you try it and how it works out 😉

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