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Countdown To Destruction: Day22

DOOMSDAY1

It’s Day22, and we are getting dangerously close to the teens in our countdown.

Just to get this out of the way early on, I have almost perfected a foreign language, I have not adopted a baby and I have not skydived, though I did climb onto the roof of the carport in my complex and gaze at the stars. That sounds like something, doesn’t it?

I will have you know, I also went for a night swim AND I had a game night with a few friends which consisted of 30 Seconds and Crazy Eight. Both of which I won. Naturally.

However, since I decided yesterday that I was not just going to lie down and take whatever the earth (and that idiot Mayan calendar writer) dealt me, the time has come to buckle down and do some serious work into my preparations to try and survive the apocalypse. 35913_556995044314243_683299286_n

So I am putting together an APOCALYPSE SURVIVAL KIT. For this, I needed to do some research and discovered that this is now more normal than it might have been last decade, but those who have been eagerly awaiting the zombi apocalypse have been at it for some time now. For those of you who would like to survive with me, but do not have the time or energy to prepare, Gerber Gear is actually selling and Apocalypse Survival Kit. You can find this at their website: www.gerbergear.com/Apocalypse/Gear/Apocalypse-Kit_30-000601, with the description: “What if it happens? What if our worst fears are realized? If the Dead walk, the continuation of the human race will become a daily struggle. Are you prepared to protect and defend your family and friends? Your best chance lies in the Gerber Apocalypse Survival Kit. Enclosed in a super durable canvas carrying case with reinforced stitching, the kit is compact and packable. To beat the uprising we must work together. We must arm ourselves and organize.”

Well done to Gerber for trying to make sure the rest of us are prepared, but I think if we were really trying to work together, we would be giving these out for free, no? By the way, Gerber is a genuine online store for outdoorsy stuff, also selling equipment for hunting, outdoor activities, industrial, tactical and military needs.

 

I also found out that a Mr Glenn Beck is trying to promote something called Food Insurance, a company that sells “gourmet quality” survivalist kits. Aside from the ad campaign, he has been promoting “freeze-dried food”, which is basically a stash of food for rought times. Food Insurance claims to insure against hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, power outages, severe winter storms, pandemics, terrorism and unemployment. The entry level “Essential Kit” costs $200 and contains food for 1 adult for atleast two weeks, waterproof matches, cooking tin, stove and heating pellets (uhm…what are heating pellets???), a water filter and a backpack for it all.

For an extra $50, you can get an all-in-one survival tool (uhm…a who??), two dust/pollutant masks, radio flashlight and a 350-piece first aid kit. I must admit, this sounds like all very smart things to have around for disasters of any kind, but do keep in mind that the company’s premium offer will set you back a cool $9 600 and will feed your family of four for an entire year.

Seeing as they are offering “gourmet quality” survival kits, what food are they freeze drying you ask? Think lasagna with meat sause, beef stroganoff, creamy chicken rotini or teriyaki chicken with rice. So if your post-apocalyptic holocaust environment self is surviving on nuts and tree bark and you see your neighbour with a warm plate of lasagna, you will know exactly how that happened.

 

The best offer of the lot, however, is Patrick Geryl, who wrote How To Survive 2012, and has spent a reported $130 000 on survival preparations. He has 100 items on his list, which he sent to CNN Money and which I will share with you in my next post, along with some other tips and tricks.

 

While we are still in the mood for living life to the fullest, our Bucket List options for today include:

  • A ride in a hot air balloon 21.
  • Owning a beach house22.
  • Attending the Carnival of Venice23.

 

Yes, they are ridiculous, I know, I know, but I am, after all, just picking from my original bucket list options here, so forgive me for being a tad outlandish.

Either way, the clock is tick tocking… ❤


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Countdown To Destruction: Day23

Don’t even ask me about yesterday’s Bucket List nominations… “swim with a whale”???? Please…

But I don’t give up easily and I will be trying to make memorable memories right up until Dec 22 so bear with me.

And for those who plan to continue onwards, even after that, there is a Facebook group called: 2013, For Those Who Survive 2012. At the moment, I’m kind of leaning more towards the survival tactic, rather than preparing for the end. It just makes more sense to me to try and fight this thing rather than to just lay down and take it, so I hope the Chinese are ready with that giant Ark-Ship thing, because I am coming to stow away on that thing.

So I might not have gotten anything from my Bucket List selections done over the last 24 hours, but I have not been simply relaxing on my laurels. I got a few pages closer to completing the book I am writing (aka, The Great South African Novel), and I got tested for HIV/AIDS. For those who are not aware, we are only a couple of days away from International Aids Day and it is soooo imperative that you always check and know your status. I repeat, IMPERATIVE. Oh, and I came out negative, just by the way :).

 

Of the bucket list nominations for today, I will say beforehand, that they might not all get done… You will see for yourself why I say this when you read them, but I will say that I will give them all a bloody good try and hope for the best.

For today, Bucket List for Day 23:

  • Adopt a baby
  • Skydive
  • Learn a language

The first one is something which is very close to my heart because I feel so strongly that the plight of orphans in South Africa and around the world is such an important one. If my evil plan succeeds and I see 2013 and beyond, I will make sure that I one day adopt a cute little one. I dont see why every couple can’t make it part of their plans to raise their kids, and after they are somewhat done with that (maybe when your youngest is somewhere in his teens), give a little one in need a home and a loving environment. It’s the most amazing gift you can give.

As for learning a language, well we can all see how impossible that would be in one day, so I’m thinking I can play around with the interpretation of this selection and perhaps try to becoming fluent in a language I have already started learning…how’s that for making the most of my time left on Earth?

Parfaitement à l’aise français, je viens ici.


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Countdown To Destruction: Day 24

It’s 24 days left and I have done NONE of the Bucket List options I selected yesterday.

Yes, I suck.

Okay, okay, so the learning to play piano and riding a helicopter options might have been a bit of a stretch, I realise this, but I at lease could have gone to a masquerade ball, right!?

…no dress, no date, no mask, no knowledge of any masquerade balls happening anywhere at any time within my set time frame, or any time at all for that matter…but I still could’ve gone.

Oh, but if it redeems me in any way, I did download an application on my phone that claims it can help me learn piano, so in my defence I will stake claim to the fact that I am on the right track in that one regard.

Half a point to me! 😀

 

My bucket list choices for Day24 are:

  • Go to an airport and buy tickets for a random flight
  • Learn how to surf
  • Swim with a whale

 

 

Very lofty dreams I have there, but then again, I have always been a lady of great imagination…and dream…and optimism. I certainly don’t see why a tragedy as inconsequential as the demise of me and my entire race should change that.

Going through this bucket list has reminded me all over again all the amazing and incredible things I would die to do, just to have that experience in my life. The swimming with whales for example…can you imagine how awe inspiring that would be???

 

So please feel free to donate a ton of money, or a surf board, or a free trip for a whale watching expedition and I promise, I will pay you back on the 22 Dec 2012 *wink*.

Wish me luck in my great quest and I will see you all at the finish line 🙂


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Countdown To Destruction: Day 25

So today, it is officially 25 days to the end of the world and the overall apocalyptic destruction of everything you hold dear.

Don’t look at me like that, you all watched the movie 2012, you know its going to be CRAZY!

 

Before yesterday, I didn’t believe in the aforementioned apocalypse, but since I saw Chris Brown’s “Don’t Judge Me” video, and since Riaan Cruywagen  read his last news cast, I’m inclined to think that something is definately off kilter about the world.

One thing that always bothered me about this prediction was the disparity in the fact that they could predict the destruction of the entire world, but none of them ever pointed out the details or atleast date of their own demise??

It is, of course, the Mayans of which I speak. They are a lost and gone generation now, but once upon a time, they lived, and it seems they had a calendar, that continued to the end of all things, but somehow transversed their own existence…hmmm…okay… Am I the only one who sees the giant gaping hole in this story.

Why would anyone bother dating anything for AFTER their own existence and the existence of the world they knew? Who did they think would be around to ask what date it was? Who did they make those calendars for? Was it not maybe just one huge April Fool’s prank, where one particular Mayan professor kept giggling right to his grave at the thought of the poor sucker who would read his calendar a few decades later and freak out?

But like I said, with all the hurricanes and tsunamis and tropical storms hitting everywhere, and ofcourse the fact that Oom Riaan is no longer on our screens, it seems very possible now that on 21 December 2012, the ground might collapse beneath me.

 

So I have decided to hold my very own countdown to the end.

This might be a good time to start doing all those things that are on your bucket list hey…just saying…

I currently have about 153 items on my Bucket List, as compiled so far, so I guess I left this countdown a tiny little bit too late…perhaps… but hey, I’m a girl with gusto and I can never say I never tried, so lets say I tick off two or three things from my list every day, and I can die with a smile on my face, knowing that I atlease came within a hair’s distance of completion.

Mine for DAY25 are:

    • Learn to play piano
    • Attend a masquerade ball
    • Ride in a helicopter

I don’t know how this is going to happen but hey, you can’t blame a girl for trying right?

So here goes nothing…

See you all on at the finish line 🙂