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Inspire. Motivate. Laugh. Love….. Your Guilty Pleasure. ♥

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Fake It Until You Make It!

Maaaawning all!

Its Tuesday, not my favourite day of the week since I always feel sooooo finished, but as they say in the industry (which industry?? No clue), I’m going to fake it until I make it!

Usually I’m very much against “Fake”, whether its fake people, fake breasts or fake clothing, its just not for me. But today, I welcome the fake!

Here are a few things that its OK to fake:

  1. The “I’m a fully rounded person” hobby section on your CV. Nobody really has the time (or inclination) to go hiking or study pre-WWII contemporary art right??
  2. Your forwarding address when you FINALLY get to tell your free-loading non-cleaning/cooking nasty flatmate that you’re moving out
  3. A short-lived but very deep relationship with Johnny Depp before he hit the big time, about which, naturally, you can’t go into any details…naturally.
  4. A story where you triumphed over a rude woman in the line at the Post Office by giving her the perfect put-down, when in fact, you only thought about it when you were already in the car, rewriting your humiliation.
  5. A can-do approach to your job (THIS IS ME!! :-D)
  6. The impression that the friend you bribed into going with you to your family reunion is, in fact, your boyfriend
  7. How much you absolutely LOOOOVE the puke-green colour of the shiny, semi-transparent, gaudy bridesmaid’s dress your best friend has picked out for you to wear on her big day (sooo chic!)
  8. A knowledgeable opinion on wine, when in all actuality, you’re more than happy to hose down anything in a big-enough glass
  9. Having slaved over a hot stove for hours to fix this amazing dinner, when the most difficult part was sneaking outside to throw the Woolies Food packets in your neighbours bins
  10. Knowledge of world events. Or even events in your own country – all you really need to do is nod wisely at the right moments
  11. Your love of a quiet, studious lifestyle when being interviewed by your new landlord
  12. A giggle of laughter and a smile when his mom asks if you’ve gained weight over Christmas, when all you’re thinking about is choking her
  13. A doctor’s appointment or an emergency when you just want to go home early. Note: Always remember what your mystery ailment is, for when your boss corners you the next day



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Beweave It! vs. Au Naturelle











It seems everywhere I look, I am being confronted by the topic of weave vs. natural hair.

Last night, Deborah Patta caused havoc in African circles by tackling the tender issue of black women’s hair. As is to be expected, the debate of black women’s hair always comes down to the bottom line of the weave vs. natural hair.

The debate continued raging long after the credits ran, with Twitter being set alight by all manner of the enraged and the entertained commentators having their say. There were a variety of opinions expressed in last night’s show, from both “professionals” and the layman, from people in the streets as well as the people we admire, our beloved celebrities, and from where I was sitting, the conclusion was – it all comes down to personal choice.

#TeamWeave strongly believes in the right to have whatever hairstyle they choose, and believe their weaves look amazing on them. Some are right. They not only show no signs of stopping, but some…err…eager beavers…claim they cannot live without their weaves and that their natural hair is an irreversible disaster which they will NEVER show to the world.

#TeamNatural, on the other hand, seems to feel that natural not only looks better, but feels better and the hair fares better in the long run. Some members of said team also feel that weave-wearers are suffering of an identity issue of sorts. That they are, in a way, ashamed of their natural hair and therefore, of their African-ness. They…to put it simply…have a longing to be white-er, and are expressing this longing by, instead of celebrating their natural hair, hiding it under a weave. Please note that I am paraphrasing here, but for me this was where the debate became an issue.

I see no reason why the style a woman chooses to put on her hair should become an issue of race or culture.  

When did a woman lose her right to choose the look she wishes to portray to the world??

Since the dawn of time, women have been changing their look, altering it, improving it, playing around with it and being adventurous with it. Since the dawn of time, women have been the ones who, when they felt they needed a change, would walk into the salon and walk out feeling like a whole new woman. I can see why males would be completely baffled by this concept but this is one thing that fellow females should understand better than anyone else. There is nothing like a new look to make you feel vibrant, refreshed and new.

Please let it be known that I am speaking as an African woman with beautiful, healthy DREADLOCKS, but should I choose to have a weave tomorrow, I see no reason why it should be a reflection on anything but my need or want for a pleasant change in my life. I am no less in touch with my culture, I am no more ashamed of it, and I am not trying to transform myself into a white girl, I just want to look in the mirror and see something new and exciting.

Sure, there are a wide range of styles to choose from that are for natural African hair, but why should I limit myself to just those??

Basically what I’m saying is that it irritates me that black women have been limited and boxed in by fear of judgement and reprisal from their peers, especially in this, the 21st century, when all we spout is freedom of choice and freedom of this and that. Touching momentarily on the very sensitive subject of race, let me remind you that for the white female, hair issues are a lot more straight forward, in that she can do what she will with minimal judgement. Barring dyeing your hair rainbow colours, a white female can explore all manner of hairstyles…she can straighten her hair, curl it tomorrow, extend it on Saturday and then cut it short on Tuesday without the general population batting an eyelid. So why not extend the black female, the same courtesy?

That being said, not all our natural is the same. Some people’s hair is thicker, harder and unrulier than others, and can you imagine having to wake up every day and comb this kind of hair into a decent style?? The pain? The time? The exercise? Not everyone has the creativity, nor the inclination to work with natural hair and make it look amazing every day…not to mention every night (some experts recommend you loosely braid your afro before sleeping so it can be less tangled and more manageable in the morning),  I, for one, know that I would be spending my weekends with a hot mess on my head, because if I wasn’t going to work, I wouldn’t even bother…in fact, that’s exactly what I did before the dreadlocks, and my afro was soft even! The sheer energy it takes to maintain some people’s natural hair is extreme and it really isn’t fair to enforce the same ideals you hold for your hair onto another, who might have it harder than you.

We’ve all had those mornings when your hair is just not behaving the way it should and the styles you envisioned with your outfit aren’t quiet looking like they should. Mornings when you try to recreate the GORGEOUS afro or <insert another hairstyle here> you had yesterday and today it just turns out :-/…even after you’ve done everything you did yesterday. How much worse when the process of trying to restyle it will take another 30minutes? And not all of us are made for close-cropped “brush cuts” or chiskops, which would be the alternative to the every day torture of reigning in said hot mess.

All this being said, ladies, don’t judge each other too harshly or too quickly. As long as a lady is trying to make herself look good, she is doing it right.

To quote one of my tweeps “Having an afro doesn’t make you an African or black any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.” – @Bee_loco


Note: This was the Opinion Post. In the next blog posts, I’ll be discussing what a weave is (for the novices in my audience) as well as some weave do’s and don’t’s, its much-talked-about effects on natural hair and why most brothers (and haters) don’t like weaves. So come back for more ;-).


– @MS_Mandi